The internet can be a wonderful thing. For the past two years, up until a month or so ago, I thought that I had to run/walk 8-10 miles a day every day, or I would gain weight instantly. I thought that, because I had to do this much exercise to keep myself at a “normal” weight — not even a particularly skinny or fit weight for my height — NOT exercising would be disastrous. I was jealous of people who didn’t have to carve two and a half hours out of their day and pass on social obligations to go to the gym. If I didn’t work out, I would be severely agitated and basically trick the people I was with to going on long walks in order to calm myself down. My muscles ached all of the time and I didn’t even get enjoyment out of the exercise, just felt like I was meeting an imperative daily requirement.

Recently I started trying to read health blogs for ideas for new and different exercises, to see if I could break my weight plateau. Imagine my surprise when I came across a slew of posts and bloggers writing about their exercise addictions, how said addictions had overtaken their life, and how they are trying to heal themselves by being gentle to themselves. I really had no idea this was a “thing”. It’s so heartwarming and comforting to know. So since March or so, I have cut my workouts down, and don’t exercise every day. It’s still a work in progress, and very hard for me some days, but I’m so grateful to these wonderful bloggers for helping me wise up and figure out I was being a bit extreme. Thank you so much, cool internet people! <3

Thank you friends near & far for the kind messages — don’t worry I’m OK! My thoughts are w/ everyone in downtown Boston today, can’t believe this has happened. Sending love in all directions!